Be in control of your poo

Since time unmemorable, human beings have done their best to control their surroundings.  More control means fewer risks.  And fewer risks mean more safety and less stress.  Therefore, it makes a lot of sense to attempt to avoid surprises.

One way in which parents of small children attempt to be in control is by encouraging/forcing their little boys and girls to pee before they leave the house.  This amounts to a veritable conditioning that in many cases persists for the rest of our lives.

This emphasis on urine is probably due to the fact that most people need to urinate several times a day, but I find that the passing of solid waste has been neglected for too long.

I personally hate to have to sit on “alien” toilets.  Especially public toilets tend to be less hygienic than what I would like them to be.  The ladies, who, because of their anatomy, are forced to sit even just to pass some water, have all my sympathy.  Although, I am told that ladies public toilets are usually cleaner than those for so-called gents.

The paper in public toilets (when provided!) is usually of low quality and often not much stronger than two layers of spider web.  And remember the disgusting smell that often lingers in such places.  There is also the issue of touching cabinet locks, taps, and door handles that are indubitably receptacle of who knows how many microbes.  Think twice before holding that piece of pizza after using public facilities.

And what about having sometimes to endure the promiscuity of sitting one metre away from people doing their business in neighbouring cabinets, with associated smells and noises.  Don’t forget that smelling something means that tiny particles of “that something” enter your nose and are absorbed by it...

If what I said resonates with you, rejoice!  There is a simple way to avoid having to defecate in public toilets.  I discovered it at the beginning of the year and have never looked back at darker times.

I simply go to the toilet before going to bed, regardless of whether I feel the need for it or not.  You can obviously choose another time of the day.  For example, after getting up in the morning or when you arrive back home from work.  The important thing is that you do it every day more or less at the same time.

If nothing seems to happen when you sit down, give it a couple of minutes.

The first time, you might be disappointed by your meagre production, but stick to the method and you will be rewarded.  Think about it: if your body produces on average enough waste for a daily session, by initially forcing a time, you automatically synchronise on a 24-hours cycle.  It makes sense, doesn’t it?

This method also works for people who need to go more than once.  They only need to set two appropriately spaced times instead of one.

Perhaps, many before me discovered my solution but have never mentioned it because of the taboo surrounding faeces and bodily functions in general.  No matter.  Now you know!